Mind-boggling example of male privilege
Over on the Hathor Feminism site, I wrote an article called If anything makes women hate men, it’s not feminism: it’s patriarchy. In a nutshell, I argued that patriarchy puts out a lot of ugly messages about what cheating, abusive assholes men are in hopes of convincing women to put up with crap from men. Women who refuse to take the crap but don’t encounter a more egalitarian viewpoint like feminism can continue to believe men are beasts by nature.
Here’s a response I got today on that post:
I don’t see feminism fighting for real gender equality. It is still common ideology that men are supposed to always defend and die for women. Or that a man is supposed to always be the bread winner and must always have a job or he isn’t a “real” man. After all men are expected to suffer social abuse on the job and outside in order to bring home profit for the family.
Maybe when feminism grows up and focuses on gender issues on both sides of which it aggravates through cultural change then maybe people would embody it more. But so far, it is a one sided blind argument. And yes, many women that call themselves feminist hate men or at least constantly bash men in general in order to simply leverage leadership roles for themselves.
Until feminism starts focusing on gender issues on both sides and including men it will always be seen as attacking and hostile to men, nor inclusive to their suffering or needs.
The irony here, thick as pancake batter, is that he blames feminism for several ideologies that were created centuries ago by patriarchs and neglects to recognize that feminism has actually campaigned against those ideologies. Dead white men decided men should defend women, be the sole breadwinners and suffer abuse to earn a living. Feminists worked hard to open the military and the job force to women, partly because they believed it unfair to put the burdens wholly on men.
There’s no way this guy just kind of missed that chunk of recent history, which means he’ll rationalize a way to blame feminism for the fact that we need oxygen to survive, if it suits him.
It’s easy to dismiss him as just not knowing what he’s talking about. But the problem is he does, and he feels entitled to spout lies. There are tons of forums where men sit around blaming feminists for everything the patriarchy set up (a very popular one is the “man must ask for date” rule which, you know, predates feminism by how many centuries?).
Except when they quote my articles and say how good they are, apparently with no awareness they’re quoting a feminist.
I’m at a loss for words here.

Purtek on 10 Oct 2007 at 6:01 pm #
A thousand ‘words’. Mind-boggling is such an accurate way to describe this, because my brain just frazzles right over whenever I hear this argument, which is *a lot*.
I genuinely don’t know where to start in conversations with people like this, because comments like this “it will always be seen as attacking and hostile to men, nor inclusive to their suffering or needs.” smack so hard of privilege, but it’s lose-lose to engage with it, because if I acknowledge ’suffering and needs’ it’s coddling a sense of entitlement, but pointing that out is clearly me being a hostile feminist bitch.
Hattie on 10 Nov 2007 at 8:53 pm #
What you say about the notion that men are beasts as reinforcing the patriarchy is an important insight.
This idea helps me to understand why it is that women put up with what they do.